. . . . sigh. . . . . .

So, I haven't done this in a long time, but I am getting back to it now. Finished my nursing degree. Trying to get the house organized, but also relax since this is the first vacation time I've had since summer. It has been wonderful to catch up with friends I haven't seen in a sweet eternity. Although, there are those of you that I still need to catch up with!!! Anyway, now that I have time, I am spending time looking at crafting and organizing my home and crafty ways of organizing my home, hee hee.

Tonight

Okay, so 2 ball games tonight. Collin's at 6:45 and Caleb's at 7:15. Usually Lee and I help with some part of the coaching, which we DIG! The kids and I stayed home today so I could work on the house. . . we'll go to the pool tomorrow. We are enjoying the new place and all the running around room, but it's SO hot this time of year. I'll get out and enjoy the big yard in a couple a weeks. . . . . Gotta make sure all the parts and pieces of the uniforms are ready. . . . Later!

Um

Okay, so I have been out of school since the 14th? er something. Anyway, we are moving, of course. And I have to do taxes. And my cat is super ticked at me right now cuz she gets NO love and everytime she finds a nice sunny window to sit in, here come the STUPID DOGS!!! But she's a bit of a stupid cat, too. She has gotten stuck in the duct work at the new house 3 times in the last week and a half!!!!! (We had to take off the return air vents to paint).

Caleb helped us paint my scrapbook room tonight. Lee was cutting in below, Caleb had to paint the "line" in the middle of the room, and I cut in to the ceiling. Lee said he could FEEL Caleb dripping paint on his hat. Aaah, Family Time.

Collin is at Mom's learning to give wedgies, getting better at fishing, and playing with my cousin's puppies. He has been up there nearly a week, and I MISS HIM. I am getting a lot done, though.

My sister in law is moving into my brother's house cause he lost his job and moved up to my hometown.

Lee's parents are going to California for the summer to get their house and Grandpa's Hayward house on the market.

Stephanie is getting married in October.

I am starting to get a chance to catch up with friends. We have been invited to a lot of dinners, but I haven't invited anyone over yet. I feel a little guilty about that, but I'll make up for it when we get all moved in.

My friend Akara is in New York for a 13 week stint as a traveling nurse and she tells me I MUST come see her there. Whadya think? Could this MO girl handle NYC??

We are gonna get a male cat from my friend Callie. I have Maddy Kitty Catty, and we'll get a little boy kitty. Name him Manfred, call him Manny Kitty Catty.

We have 4 bathrooms in this house. Guess how many work. . . . . . . No, really please guess.

After 15 years, Lee's Grandma's Closet was emptied. Guess what we found? Nursing shoes. Never worn. Lee said she wore those to work all the time. Found her smock from work. Kinda cute. People called her "Phil" (Phyllis), his grandpa was "Bill" so, Bill and Phil. And, my Mom's parents are "Jim and Gerry". Kinda confusing for a little kid.

One of Caleb's favorite buds-Gage, whom I LOVED moved to the coast with his momma who just finished school to be a pathology assistant er something.

Um. . . . let's see. . . that's all for now. . .

Oh, wait, um, Lee and I have NO TV. We are trying this thing were we watch no tv. . . . . . . . . It is harder for Lee than for me, but even for me it is hard. I used to watch it while I ate lunch. He is sitting here by me reading a book. It's kinda cute. The kids don't seem to miss it at all. Interesting. I figured it would give us more time to pay attention to the kiddos.

Disneyland

We are in disneyland! The internet has been down at my hotel the last two days. So here's a glimpse. I will post more later.

Cardiac Intensive Care Unit

Yep, that's where I was today. It was pretty interesting. I got to spend yesterday in there, too. Boy, talk about moving at a different pace. It was amazing to see the orchestration and high acuity cases.

I don't really have time to do this, but wanted to at least post SOMETHING. My sister got engaged yesterday. I don't know if I mentioned I'm the second counselor in the primary (albeit a useless one right now). Lee and the kids and I are healthy.

Grandpa passed away 2.5 weeks ago. They say he went in peace and in no pain. Thanks goes completely to the hospice nurses for that. Lee had a pretty rough time with it and I think sometimes he still has moments, as he will for a while. Even I have them, and they come more often now because I am usually up on 6 West, which is Family Practice. I was exceedingly uninterested in Family Practice before, now I'm just ready to kick myself in the face. That's why this break in the CICU was nice. After Thanksgiving I have two more weeks on that floor (4 Clinical Days). I will write more over Thanksgiving break.

Thanks for your comments and checking in, guys! Love and Miss y'all!!!

Med Surg

I am taking Med Surg now and it promises to comprise most of my life for the next 7 weeks. I am to spend 46.5 hours per week on this class. I am hoping only to survive it and then to try and get back to spending some kind of quality time with my family.

Ultimately, I want to only work part time after I graduate, but most suggest I shouldn't for at least 6 months. I really don't know what to do. I knew from the beginning I would only use this degree on an "as needed" basis. Makes it hard to kill myself studying for these exams.

Kids are doing well. Caleb is Harry Potter for Halloween and Collin is a spider. I am a coffin witch. Lee didn't dress up this year. Bummer.

The Countdown

Got till the 25th.  Then it's back to the grind.  Really it's back to the grind before that cuz I have to read a lot to prep. . . . Finally bought my books. . . got a new backpack from R.E.I.  Caleb starts school on tuesday.  Caleb will be playing fall ball.  Wish I was. . . . .

That's okay.  Watching the kids play ball is good enough for me. .. . 

Had the weekend to ourselves (our tenth anniversary) cuz mom had the kids.  They will be back in a little bit. . . . The kids had "the best day" friday according to him.  I took them to the pool and then they got to go to grandma's for the weekend.  Here's the link to the pictures.  

http://web.me.com/kimberlyriley/Site/Day_at_the_pool.html

Collin's 4th Birthday Party "Under the Sea"

Yes!!  We had the Casey the Balloon Guy for 2 hours all to ourselves.  It was SO MUCH FUN.  The adults enjoyed sitting and watching him as much as the kids enjoyed waiting for their balloons.  

We did an Under the Sea theme, and he made a couple rod and reel fishing poles with awesome big fish attached to the ends!  He also made an octopus and a mermaid.  Collin had a BIG TIME.  They all did.

Collin is sporting a red shark in the photo above.

Stephanie kept Collin's shark hat safe while he played and the balloon man dazzled us.  Collin was so cute when we were singing Happy Birthday to him, he was overcome with excitement.  We got two cupcake cakes from in the shapes of fishies.

Daddy made a gourmet barbeque dinner with chedder and ranch burgers, lots of salads and pasta.  Oh, it was a good day to eat at my house!

We could have stopped the party right here for the day and have had enough fun.  Grandma suggested that Cody get a turtle hat.  So, the balloon guy made a family of turtles on a branch, and the one in the front hung just far enough out of Cody's reach.  He was turning in circles like a dog who is chasing his tail.  It was hilarious!

Collin got lots of cool presents, of course, and Caleb even managed to snag a few to help circumvent problems during the party.  The kids loved the balloon entertainment.  My niece, Rachel, got a Dora the Explorer replica (down to the flower shaped watch on her right hand, and her little yellow socks!  Caleb got some kinda shark.  He brought out his book of sharks and picked one and asked the balloon man to make it.  I didn't realize what he had asked until it was already halfway done.  Wow!  this balloon guy will make anything!

Oh!  And Mark asked for snoopy on a motorcycle, which he got.  I'll have to add that photo to my next post.  AND, I got a green and pink dragonfly hat.  We had lots of fun as you can see by the HUGE SMILE on Cody's face below!

Something sweet!

My Inlaws' inlaws sent us a HUGE fruit basket arrangement from edible arrangements.  The fruit is super yummy, and I took the liberty of eating all the chocolate covered strawberries.

Got Collin's bday party planned for this weekend.  I am "renting" a Casey the balloon guy to spend 2 hours making awesome balloon stuff.  I am sure I will have lots of pictures to post.

 . . . I am watching, "Definitely, Maybe" right now.  Will try to reconcile some bank statements later.

Da Pitts. . . . .

Okay.  So this is the pitts.  I hate being able to be home and having to lie still all day.  SUCKS.  Sure, It's cool for like, a day, and then BORING!

Pain is manageable, I have this one particular spot on my right side that keeps feeling like that hot butter knife feeling (doc said that would happen).

Percocet and Ibuprofen is all I will be up to for at least another week and a half.  Lost my glasses at the hospital, too, gotta find those. . . or order new ones. . .  . . . and register for classes in a few weeks. . . . .

I am still mourning the loss of my uterus.  Painful and loathsome as it was.  Am looking forward to checking into adoption once I have had a chance to completely soak up my two favorite little boys in the world.

I'll tell ya, though, that has made it easier for me than anything to deal with all this.  Honestly, it will be so hard to get it right and give enough to the two I have I still wonder if I am capable of giving more.  . . . . .  

But it was so cute when Collin walked in the door and said, "Hi, mommie.  Are you all better from the cut in your tummy?"

If I had it to do all over again

Yes. That's the question that's been on my mind. If I had it to do all over again, would I still go to nursing school? Yes. Would I still do the accelerated program? Absolutely not.

Imagine 40 nervous students in the same room together for 5 weeks, and then for the next 5 weeks 20 students at a time. There is not enough time to cover the material and answer all the questions. The professors are working on advanced degrees (most of them), so they are learning all the new techniques and understandings, which you would think would be marvelous, right? Well . . . . . no.

I had it on good authority before I even applied to the nursing program that my biggest problem as a nurse would be wanting to use newer technologies and practices, and that the older nurses would despise me for it. Probably mostly because people hate change, and now that I have been in clinical and actually been responsible for significant health issues, I'd say for me (if I were an nurse who'd been at practice for a while) it'd make me worry than I did more harm than good to all the people I cared for.

Yes, the people I care for are the reason to do the work. The schooling is an exercise in frustration. For example, we must "check off" on skills. This means there is a list of things we must do for any one procedure (inserting catheter, NG tube, what have you). Well, when we checked off on wounds, and even before that, our professor tells us that we must wet the old packing on a wet to dry wound before we remove the packing because we don't want to pull out the new skin that is growing up to fill in a wound.

I had a wound dressing change this week. Of course, the teacher assisting me hadn't taught me the new wound dressing technique. She continually rolls her eyes at me, and starts to pull the old drainage guaze when it was all dry. I had to significantly raise my voice to get her to STOP PULLING OUT dry guaze!

After that, I discussed it with the nurse I was shadowing. She said that if the docs knew they were teaching us to wet it before taking it out they would be upset. She has been a nurse for 30 years.

So, I wouldn't do this program again. Inconsistency is king. The teacher's don't really read the texts they pick out for us. In fact, one teacher didn't even know we had a book until after the first test.

Book disagrees with teacher disagrees with other teacher disagrees with nurses actually working. There is no way to know what is true and accurate, and what they will be looking for as far as answers on multiple choice tests (my least favorite).

Consider again the 40 people. The 40 people who would beg, steal, and borrow to be a nurse. The 40 mostly type A people who have already paid for an undergraduate degree in one way or another. The people who had to have an average of over 3.7 to get in to the program. Consider the 40 people losing their minds for not knowing what to do because there is simply nothing we can count on. No plan, No consistency. Testing is extremely difficult.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster. Fear of not knowing what exactly they are looking for on a test cuz the book is different than the online homework that is different from what the teacher says. AND we have two classes team taught, AND WE HAVE INCONSISTENCIES BETWEEN THOSE TEACHERS.

Now, in reality, this is great practice for dealing with all kinds of doctors and such. But, right now I just need less stress.

It's hard to watch doctors argue over who must give care. The surgeoin won't touch anything not due to a complication of surgery even if it could possibly be a complication of surgery, it's just not completely manifested yet. The family doctor doesn't read the charts, doesn't care about the patient, always appears to want to be somewhere else.

It has been really sad and hard to watch. I have to decide if I am capable of letting these things go and just focusing on being a good nurse and pt advocate. I have had several pity parties for myself out of total and utter disappointment in what I can do, what we should do, and what they will do. . . .

I think it's all just part of the experience, and it will, in the end, be for the best. It's just been a rough and painful growth period.

I exceed with flying colors in clinical. Never needing anything from my instructor and completing tasks AND charting them before she asks.

Everyone says it gets better after this summer session. 3 more weeks. Okay.

On a lighter note, Caleb rocks at baseball but is not interested in spending time with me unless we are vigorously playing in the 100 degree heat. Collin is growing up more and more. I am so thankful to have them in my life, but I know for sure that Caleb will be my challenge. He is really Kimberly the second, perhaps that is why. But, for as much as he frustrates me, I know it isn't intentional, and it makes it easier to try to keep my cool.

Love y'all.

Dunno

You know, I never what to title these things since it seems like I am always using the same tone in my titles. At any rate, thanks to my friends who checked in with me during the while that I was MIA. Since I have been on I passed a few kidney stones, took a few tests, and started my clinicals. My goodness, it was so nice to finally get my first day in the hospital instead of sitting in class all day. I can't wait for this semester to be over, though, truth be told. I feel super guilty for Collin having to be at school at 6:30 in the am and always being so busy studying I haven't done much with the kids this summer. So far, no trips to the pool, at all. In fact, no trips anywhere until this weekend. And then we just went to my Mom's. She had been talking about buying a 4 wheeler for a while and finally did it despite my wishes. I guess they put a governor on it to keep Caleb from going too fast, but we did lose a young boy in my home town due to a 4 wheeler accident. It was hard for me to enjoy watching him ride it.

Grandma also bought Collin a little blue Nascar-esc racing car to drive. It was lots of fun for the kids and I didn't have to worry about anyone getting too hurt. I will post pix if my brother ever gets them over to me.

Am hoping to take the kids to the beach between semesters again. We need a break now more than ever. Funny how it feels that way every time. HOWEVEr, I have given myself a benchmark. IF, after 6 months of my working as a nurse our lives are not WAY less crazy, something's gotta give. And, no, I don't know what, but something does.

Make sure y'all update your blogs so I can check in hear how you are doing.

With a Little Help from My Friends

Okay. If I'm gonna get by I need a little help from my friends. So for all you lurkers, now is the time to stop lurking. MAKE a comment! Drop me an email. . .

I had laparascopy last tuesday to burn off endometriosis and relieve me from pain. However, it has been determined that I don't have endometriosis. I have pelvic congestive disorder and the only cure is hysterectomy. So, the pain won't stop till that is done (which is now up to 3 weeks a month). So, I have a decision to make.

Lee has been having pain in the same area as the last time he had to have surgery and when I called the doctor's office to make an appointment they told me they didn't want to waste time and scheduled him for a CAT scan then. First scan looked funny, the second looked okay. We are waiting to hear from the doc and of course we will get a second opinion.

The girl that was supposed to be doing bookkeeping so far behind that it is causing major problems and worrying about that makes it difficult to study. This is one of those, "when it rains, it pours" times and I find myself short one umbrella.

What did you do today?

I sit in class, bored and tired and amazed at the amount of time we waste.  We had our first test in patho today at 8 am.  We were supposed to have 45 minutes to take the test, but somehow class didn't start again until 9:30????  Seriously we have taken breaks after 20 minutes of lecture and the days drag on and on.  I get more out of going home and studying 2 or 3 hours a night.

We have been learning wound care, skin assessment, and how to stay awake with vending machine aids. . . . 

It's Getting Better All the Time

Yes, it is getting much better. Lecture is down to 2-3 hours per day and hands on lab experience is up to 1-2 hours per day. We are learning lots more practical things, and continuing to cover pathophysiology. I will be done with Methods of Assisting 1 by the end of June. Fundamentals is a new class we start tomorrow. We have a very wide variety of backgrounds and experiences in our class. I can't believe the intensity and pressure of the study alone time, but at least it will got by fast. Thank goodness for all the "made ridiculously simple" books.

Got Caleb's hair cut today. He went from looking like a little surfer boy to a military looking boy. Oh well, no more crazy man hair in the mornings for a while. Collin is doing fine, plugging right along. Really getting a kick out of wearing his big boy boxers. Lee continues to work himself to death. All for now.

Most Boring-est day

Today was my first day of nursing school. We had some get-to-know-you activities for the first hour and then. . . .nothing. Forms, paperwork. then lunch. then pathophysiology dictated to us for 3.5 hours. I wanted to pull my own eyeballs out. A muggy room not enough light. Tons of info to cover. First Quiz on thursday. I planned for this to be hard, but not mind-numbingly boring. After tomorrow we will start having patho in the morning, cuz we are all too sleepy for patho to have it after lunch.

The kids came home from being at grandma's all weekend and Caleb caught lots of fish. it's good to have them home. A break from the kids is nice, but I need my little boys.

Bittersweet. More sweet than bitter.

We took roses to school today.  We passed out a rose to two of the teachers and two of the directors.  There were so many tears today!  He starts the Apple School full time next week because I start nursing school full time next week.

The kids usually got to go out to the playground twice a day and they loved it. 

Caleb and two of the Jacks and Lilly playing on the jungle gym outside.

We also had to say goodbye to Jan today.  Collin went over to her house after he got out of Mother's Day Out at 1:30.  He has been going to her for years.  She got him a cute lightening mcqueen bag for him, too that has a moving speedometer and the car runs the track on it.  She also had this cookie made for him.  She said she cried all weekend just thinking about him leaving. (Oh, she also bought him cars shoes and some cars bubble bath).  Anyway, his little friend Meena (Willamena) came today (and she doesn't usually come on fridays) so that she could say goodbye to Collin.  

Tire swing at Mother's Day Out

Goodbye to Rachel at Mother's Day out.  He was in her classroom last year.  She was the first teacher HE JUST LOVED.  Last year he only went to MDO on tuesday and thursdays, but monday, wednesday, and friday he would still ask me if I was taking him to "Rachel's House."  Yes, the first Christian Church on Tenth and Walnut will always be Rachel's house.  Julie was his teacher this year and he would say, "Am I going to Rachel's house and see Miss Julie?"

On the elevator on the way to pass out flowers (and start crying)  It was a bittersweet day.  My last day of freedom before school 40 hours a week, Collin's last day with 3 of his favorite people who love him so much, and lots of goodbyes.  It was awful.   Do you know how hard it is to try to keep from crying when the teachers are crying cuz he's leaving.  Ugh.  Thank goodness for the people who love our children.  I have been blessed.  Who'd have known when I arranged for a sitter or preschool for my son that I would love the teachers in the end, and that they would love our family.  Ugh.  I hate this time of year.  (Didn't I already say that???)

Wax Virgin

Yes. I did it today. Had my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever. They were getting all "woolly mammoth" on me, or at least it felt that way. Got my nails done, too, so this is a little hard to type.

Put up a light fixture today all by my lonesome. Turned off the juice, put on my battery powered "headlight" and went for it. Guess what! It works, and I didn't burn the house down. The light was for my scrapbook room. I got a couple decorations at Hobby Lobby for it today at half off. Lots of pink stuff, cuz this is the one place I can have it.

Collin is nearly completely finished with potty training. Down to one accident a day or less. Gummy bear bribery was all it took. Now he poops in the potty and his accidents are only peeps. Yeah! What a welcome change.

Caleb had a ballgame tonight. I am having fun coaching them again for now. Just got about 5 or so left then I am off duty and get to just be a parent again. I am so glad my boy is not afraid of the ball.

Lee is still working nights remodeling the Golden Corral. Can't wait for that job to be over as he isn't sleeping much.

Speaking of which, here is my schedule of classes for 9 weeks in the summer starting next tuesday: Methods of Assisting 1, Pathophysiology, Foundations for Nursing (Physical Assessment and the Nursing Process), and Methods of Assisting 2. Lots of credit hours and lots of work. Picked up $500 worth of books yesterday and still don't have them all yet. BUT I thought about you, Amanda, when I went into the bookstore to pick up my stuff when I walked right past the counter you used to work at.

The University is constantly building and remodeling so parking is always more of a mess over there as time goes by. I did get a Maryland Avenue Parking Garage permit for the summer, though. That should help.

I plan to post some pictures soon. I need to get back into the habit of taking pictures again, especially now that I am near to having a scrapbook room!

Our House

I know this picture is long overdue, and I have more to post, but here is the front of my house (finally)!  Caleb was helping me water the plants.

Strange Days

Okay, I am still in transition, which, I didn't think would bother me so much. (But it does). Finished my last final today. Looks like "A" in nutrition and "B" in pharmacology. Whatever. I'll settle for the B. That class was miserable.


So, I get two weeks off. 2 weeks. Hmmm. I was planning on finishing my scrapbook room and getting it setup so I can just escape into and do geneology, or, of course, scrapbook. BUT, Lee is working constantly and cannot help me do anything in there, so I have decided to grout the floor all by my lonesome.

He is remodeling Golden Corral and can only work on it at night when they are closed and then it has to be up and ready to go before the morning breakfast rush. And then, he works all day. So, he comes home at 5 or 6 and sleeps till 9 at night then goes into Golden Corral till 1am or so then comes home to sleep and get up again at 6 in the morning and work on the other jobs all day long. He is behind on invoicing customers and I can't help him, cuz I don't know enough of what's going on anymore.

Pat and I are getting along quite well. She and I had lunch together today. We went to a matinee on friday afternoon and Lee took the boys camping. She invited me to a women's night at a local nursery in town the week before and that was pretty fun.

I start med surg and pathophys in a couple weeks. Think I'd like to start now. Am already worried I'll be bored. Or maybe it's cuz it's that time of year again WHEN MY FRIENDS LEAVE. Yeah, going away party in the morning and going away lunch on thursday. This is a sucky time of year. Glad my friends are moving on to bigger and better things, just wish it wasn't necessary. Anyway, I suck at transition.