The Countdown

Got till the 25th.  Then it's back to the grind.  Really it's back to the grind before that cuz I have to read a lot to prep. . . . Finally bought my books. . . got a new backpack from R.E.I.  Caleb starts school on tuesday.  Caleb will be playing fall ball.  Wish I was. . . . .

That's okay.  Watching the kids play ball is good enough for me. .. . 

Had the weekend to ourselves (our tenth anniversary) cuz mom had the kids.  They will be back in a little bit. . . . The kids had "the best day" friday according to him.  I took them to the pool and then they got to go to grandma's for the weekend.  Here's the link to the pictures.  

http://web.me.com/kimberlyriley/Site/Day_at_the_pool.html

Collin's 4th Birthday Party "Under the Sea"

Yes!!  We had the Casey the Balloon Guy for 2 hours all to ourselves.  It was SO MUCH FUN.  The adults enjoyed sitting and watching him as much as the kids enjoyed waiting for their balloons.  

We did an Under the Sea theme, and he made a couple rod and reel fishing poles with awesome big fish attached to the ends!  He also made an octopus and a mermaid.  Collin had a BIG TIME.  They all did.

Collin is sporting a red shark in the photo above.

Stephanie kept Collin's shark hat safe while he played and the balloon man dazzled us.  Collin was so cute when we were singing Happy Birthday to him, he was overcome with excitement.  We got two cupcake cakes from in the shapes of fishies.

Daddy made a gourmet barbeque dinner with chedder and ranch burgers, lots of salads and pasta.  Oh, it was a good day to eat at my house!

We could have stopped the party right here for the day and have had enough fun.  Grandma suggested that Cody get a turtle hat.  So, the balloon guy made a family of turtles on a branch, and the one in the front hung just far enough out of Cody's reach.  He was turning in circles like a dog who is chasing his tail.  It was hilarious!

Collin got lots of cool presents, of course, and Caleb even managed to snag a few to help circumvent problems during the party.  The kids loved the balloon entertainment.  My niece, Rachel, got a Dora the Explorer replica (down to the flower shaped watch on her right hand, and her little yellow socks!  Caleb got some kinda shark.  He brought out his book of sharks and picked one and asked the balloon man to make it.  I didn't realize what he had asked until it was already halfway done.  Wow!  this balloon guy will make anything!

Oh!  And Mark asked for snoopy on a motorcycle, which he got.  I'll have to add that photo to my next post.  AND, I got a green and pink dragonfly hat.  We had lots of fun as you can see by the HUGE SMILE on Cody's face below!

Something sweet!

My Inlaws' inlaws sent us a HUGE fruit basket arrangement from edible arrangements.  The fruit is super yummy, and I took the liberty of eating all the chocolate covered strawberries.

Got Collin's bday party planned for this weekend.  I am "renting" a Casey the balloon guy to spend 2 hours making awesome balloon stuff.  I am sure I will have lots of pictures to post.

 . . . I am watching, "Definitely, Maybe" right now.  Will try to reconcile some bank statements later.

Da Pitts. . . . .

Okay.  So this is the pitts.  I hate being able to be home and having to lie still all day.  SUCKS.  Sure, It's cool for like, a day, and then BORING!

Pain is manageable, I have this one particular spot on my right side that keeps feeling like that hot butter knife feeling (doc said that would happen).

Percocet and Ibuprofen is all I will be up to for at least another week and a half.  Lost my glasses at the hospital, too, gotta find those. . . or order new ones. . .  . . . and register for classes in a few weeks. . . . .

I am still mourning the loss of my uterus.  Painful and loathsome as it was.  Am looking forward to checking into adoption once I have had a chance to completely soak up my two favorite little boys in the world.

I'll tell ya, though, that has made it easier for me than anything to deal with all this.  Honestly, it will be so hard to get it right and give enough to the two I have I still wonder if I am capable of giving more.  . . . . .  

But it was so cute when Collin walked in the door and said, "Hi, mommie.  Are you all better from the cut in your tummy?"

If I had it to do all over again

Yes. That's the question that's been on my mind. If I had it to do all over again, would I still go to nursing school? Yes. Would I still do the accelerated program? Absolutely not.

Imagine 40 nervous students in the same room together for 5 weeks, and then for the next 5 weeks 20 students at a time. There is not enough time to cover the material and answer all the questions. The professors are working on advanced degrees (most of them), so they are learning all the new techniques and understandings, which you would think would be marvelous, right? Well . . . . . no.

I had it on good authority before I even applied to the nursing program that my biggest problem as a nurse would be wanting to use newer technologies and practices, and that the older nurses would despise me for it. Probably mostly because people hate change, and now that I have been in clinical and actually been responsible for significant health issues, I'd say for me (if I were an nurse who'd been at practice for a while) it'd make me worry than I did more harm than good to all the people I cared for.

Yes, the people I care for are the reason to do the work. The schooling is an exercise in frustration. For example, we must "check off" on skills. This means there is a list of things we must do for any one procedure (inserting catheter, NG tube, what have you). Well, when we checked off on wounds, and even before that, our professor tells us that we must wet the old packing on a wet to dry wound before we remove the packing because we don't want to pull out the new skin that is growing up to fill in a wound.

I had a wound dressing change this week. Of course, the teacher assisting me hadn't taught me the new wound dressing technique. She continually rolls her eyes at me, and starts to pull the old drainage guaze when it was all dry. I had to significantly raise my voice to get her to STOP PULLING OUT dry guaze!

After that, I discussed it with the nurse I was shadowing. She said that if the docs knew they were teaching us to wet it before taking it out they would be upset. She has been a nurse for 30 years.

So, I wouldn't do this program again. Inconsistency is king. The teacher's don't really read the texts they pick out for us. In fact, one teacher didn't even know we had a book until after the first test.

Book disagrees with teacher disagrees with other teacher disagrees with nurses actually working. There is no way to know what is true and accurate, and what they will be looking for as far as answers on multiple choice tests (my least favorite).

Consider again the 40 people. The 40 people who would beg, steal, and borrow to be a nurse. The 40 mostly type A people who have already paid for an undergraduate degree in one way or another. The people who had to have an average of over 3.7 to get in to the program. Consider the 40 people losing their minds for not knowing what to do because there is simply nothing we can count on. No plan, No consistency. Testing is extremely difficult.

This has been an emotional rollercoaster. Fear of not knowing what exactly they are looking for on a test cuz the book is different than the online homework that is different from what the teacher says. AND we have two classes team taught, AND WE HAVE INCONSISTENCIES BETWEEN THOSE TEACHERS.

Now, in reality, this is great practice for dealing with all kinds of doctors and such. But, right now I just need less stress.

It's hard to watch doctors argue over who must give care. The surgeoin won't touch anything not due to a complication of surgery even if it could possibly be a complication of surgery, it's just not completely manifested yet. The family doctor doesn't read the charts, doesn't care about the patient, always appears to want to be somewhere else.

It has been really sad and hard to watch. I have to decide if I am capable of letting these things go and just focusing on being a good nurse and pt advocate. I have had several pity parties for myself out of total and utter disappointment in what I can do, what we should do, and what they will do. . . .

I think it's all just part of the experience, and it will, in the end, be for the best. It's just been a rough and painful growth period.

I exceed with flying colors in clinical. Never needing anything from my instructor and completing tasks AND charting them before she asks.

Everyone says it gets better after this summer session. 3 more weeks. Okay.

On a lighter note, Caleb rocks at baseball but is not interested in spending time with me unless we are vigorously playing in the 100 degree heat. Collin is growing up more and more. I am so thankful to have them in my life, but I know for sure that Caleb will be my challenge. He is really Kimberly the second, perhaps that is why. But, for as much as he frustrates me, I know it isn't intentional, and it makes it easier to try to keep my cool.

Love y'all.

Dunno

You know, I never what to title these things since it seems like I am always using the same tone in my titles. At any rate, thanks to my friends who checked in with me during the while that I was MIA. Since I have been on I passed a few kidney stones, took a few tests, and started my clinicals. My goodness, it was so nice to finally get my first day in the hospital instead of sitting in class all day. I can't wait for this semester to be over, though, truth be told. I feel super guilty for Collin having to be at school at 6:30 in the am and always being so busy studying I haven't done much with the kids this summer. So far, no trips to the pool, at all. In fact, no trips anywhere until this weekend. And then we just went to my Mom's. She had been talking about buying a 4 wheeler for a while and finally did it despite my wishes. I guess they put a governor on it to keep Caleb from going too fast, but we did lose a young boy in my home town due to a 4 wheeler accident. It was hard for me to enjoy watching him ride it.

Grandma also bought Collin a little blue Nascar-esc racing car to drive. It was lots of fun for the kids and I didn't have to worry about anyone getting too hurt. I will post pix if my brother ever gets them over to me.

Am hoping to take the kids to the beach between semesters again. We need a break now more than ever. Funny how it feels that way every time. HOWEVEr, I have given myself a benchmark. IF, after 6 months of my working as a nurse our lives are not WAY less crazy, something's gotta give. And, no, I don't know what, but something does.

Make sure y'all update your blogs so I can check in hear how you are doing.

With a Little Help from My Friends

Okay. If I'm gonna get by I need a little help from my friends. So for all you lurkers, now is the time to stop lurking. MAKE a comment! Drop me an email. . .

I had laparascopy last tuesday to burn off endometriosis and relieve me from pain. However, it has been determined that I don't have endometriosis. I have pelvic congestive disorder and the only cure is hysterectomy. So, the pain won't stop till that is done (which is now up to 3 weeks a month). So, I have a decision to make.

Lee has been having pain in the same area as the last time he had to have surgery and when I called the doctor's office to make an appointment they told me they didn't want to waste time and scheduled him for a CAT scan then. First scan looked funny, the second looked okay. We are waiting to hear from the doc and of course we will get a second opinion.

The girl that was supposed to be doing bookkeeping so far behind that it is causing major problems and worrying about that makes it difficult to study. This is one of those, "when it rains, it pours" times and I find myself short one umbrella.

What did you do today?

I sit in class, bored and tired and amazed at the amount of time we waste.  We had our first test in patho today at 8 am.  We were supposed to have 45 minutes to take the test, but somehow class didn't start again until 9:30????  Seriously we have taken breaks after 20 minutes of lecture and the days drag on and on.  I get more out of going home and studying 2 or 3 hours a night.

We have been learning wound care, skin assessment, and how to stay awake with vending machine aids. . . . 

It's Getting Better All the Time

Yes, it is getting much better. Lecture is down to 2-3 hours per day and hands on lab experience is up to 1-2 hours per day. We are learning lots more practical things, and continuing to cover pathophysiology. I will be done with Methods of Assisting 1 by the end of June. Fundamentals is a new class we start tomorrow. We have a very wide variety of backgrounds and experiences in our class. I can't believe the intensity and pressure of the study alone time, but at least it will got by fast. Thank goodness for all the "made ridiculously simple" books.

Got Caleb's hair cut today. He went from looking like a little surfer boy to a military looking boy. Oh well, no more crazy man hair in the mornings for a while. Collin is doing fine, plugging right along. Really getting a kick out of wearing his big boy boxers. Lee continues to work himself to death. All for now.

Most Boring-est day

Today was my first day of nursing school. We had some get-to-know-you activities for the first hour and then. . . .nothing. Forms, paperwork. then lunch. then pathophysiology dictated to us for 3.5 hours. I wanted to pull my own eyeballs out. A muggy room not enough light. Tons of info to cover. First Quiz on thursday. I planned for this to be hard, but not mind-numbingly boring. After tomorrow we will start having patho in the morning, cuz we are all too sleepy for patho to have it after lunch.

The kids came home from being at grandma's all weekend and Caleb caught lots of fish. it's good to have them home. A break from the kids is nice, but I need my little boys.

Bittersweet. More sweet than bitter.

We took roses to school today.  We passed out a rose to two of the teachers and two of the directors.  There were so many tears today!  He starts the Apple School full time next week because I start nursing school full time next week.

The kids usually got to go out to the playground twice a day and they loved it. 

Caleb and two of the Jacks and Lilly playing on the jungle gym outside.

We also had to say goodbye to Jan today.  Collin went over to her house after he got out of Mother's Day Out at 1:30.  He has been going to her for years.  She got him a cute lightening mcqueen bag for him, too that has a moving speedometer and the car runs the track on it.  She also had this cookie made for him.  She said she cried all weekend just thinking about him leaving. (Oh, she also bought him cars shoes and some cars bubble bath).  Anyway, his little friend Meena (Willamena) came today (and she doesn't usually come on fridays) so that she could say goodbye to Collin.  

Tire swing at Mother's Day Out

Goodbye to Rachel at Mother's Day out.  He was in her classroom last year.  She was the first teacher HE JUST LOVED.  Last year he only went to MDO on tuesday and thursdays, but monday, wednesday, and friday he would still ask me if I was taking him to "Rachel's House."  Yes, the first Christian Church on Tenth and Walnut will always be Rachel's house.  Julie was his teacher this year and he would say, "Am I going to Rachel's house and see Miss Julie?"

On the elevator on the way to pass out flowers (and start crying)  It was a bittersweet day.  My last day of freedom before school 40 hours a week, Collin's last day with 3 of his favorite people who love him so much, and lots of goodbyes.  It was awful.   Do you know how hard it is to try to keep from crying when the teachers are crying cuz he's leaving.  Ugh.  Thank goodness for the people who love our children.  I have been blessed.  Who'd have known when I arranged for a sitter or preschool for my son that I would love the teachers in the end, and that they would love our family.  Ugh.  I hate this time of year.  (Didn't I already say that???)

Wax Virgin

Yes. I did it today. Had my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever. They were getting all "woolly mammoth" on me, or at least it felt that way. Got my nails done, too, so this is a little hard to type.

Put up a light fixture today all by my lonesome. Turned off the juice, put on my battery powered "headlight" and went for it. Guess what! It works, and I didn't burn the house down. The light was for my scrapbook room. I got a couple decorations at Hobby Lobby for it today at half off. Lots of pink stuff, cuz this is the one place I can have it.

Collin is nearly completely finished with potty training. Down to one accident a day or less. Gummy bear bribery was all it took. Now he poops in the potty and his accidents are only peeps. Yeah! What a welcome change.

Caleb had a ballgame tonight. I am having fun coaching them again for now. Just got about 5 or so left then I am off duty and get to just be a parent again. I am so glad my boy is not afraid of the ball.

Lee is still working nights remodeling the Golden Corral. Can't wait for that job to be over as he isn't sleeping much.

Speaking of which, here is my schedule of classes for 9 weeks in the summer starting next tuesday: Methods of Assisting 1, Pathophysiology, Foundations for Nursing (Physical Assessment and the Nursing Process), and Methods of Assisting 2. Lots of credit hours and lots of work. Picked up $500 worth of books yesterday and still don't have them all yet. BUT I thought about you, Amanda, when I went into the bookstore to pick up my stuff when I walked right past the counter you used to work at.

The University is constantly building and remodeling so parking is always more of a mess over there as time goes by. I did get a Maryland Avenue Parking Garage permit for the summer, though. That should help.

I plan to post some pictures soon. I need to get back into the habit of taking pictures again, especially now that I am near to having a scrapbook room!

Our House

I know this picture is long overdue, and I have more to post, but here is the front of my house (finally)!  Caleb was helping me water the plants.

Strange Days

Okay, I am still in transition, which, I didn't think would bother me so much. (But it does). Finished my last final today. Looks like "A" in nutrition and "B" in pharmacology. Whatever. I'll settle for the B. That class was miserable.


So, I get two weeks off. 2 weeks. Hmmm. I was planning on finishing my scrapbook room and getting it setup so I can just escape into and do geneology, or, of course, scrapbook. BUT, Lee is working constantly and cannot help me do anything in there, so I have decided to grout the floor all by my lonesome.

He is remodeling Golden Corral and can only work on it at night when they are closed and then it has to be up and ready to go before the morning breakfast rush. And then, he works all day. So, he comes home at 5 or 6 and sleeps till 9 at night then goes into Golden Corral till 1am or so then comes home to sleep and get up again at 6 in the morning and work on the other jobs all day long. He is behind on invoicing customers and I can't help him, cuz I don't know enough of what's going on anymore.

Pat and I are getting along quite well. She and I had lunch together today. We went to a matinee on friday afternoon and Lee took the boys camping. She invited me to a women's night at a local nursery in town the week before and that was pretty fun.

I start med surg and pathophys in a couple weeks. Think I'd like to start now. Am already worried I'll be bored. Or maybe it's cuz it's that time of year again WHEN MY FRIENDS LEAVE. Yeah, going away party in the morning and going away lunch on thursday. This is a sucky time of year. Glad my friends are moving on to bigger and better things, just wish it wasn't necessary. Anyway, I suck at transition.

The studying that never started.

yes, I am supposed to be studying right now. BUT I am so burnt out that I wanted to take a break. Got my last final on tuesday. Got my last TB test read today. Finishing all my vaccinations for compliance for students in the medical professions.

Collin started at Apple School two days a week and is loving it. We are finally making some progress on potty training, too, but I had to resort to gummy bear bribery this week.

Caleb is going thru a tremendous growth spurt and apparently can't seem to get enough food into his face at any given time.

Lee is working a lot, and is loving it, because we have lots of catching up to do after such a long slow time.

Coaching Caleb's ball team has been fun for the most part. Some of the parents from the other teams suck the fun out of the game by being so competitive and nitpicky. This league doesn't get competitive till they are 9. Chill!

I found a new home for my Emmie. It was very difficult to give her to someone else. It was difficult not to vomit. BUT she wasn't getting enough attention here, and she barked constantly cuz she couldn't handle being alone. Now that I am only paying to support one dog (Josie) I can get her cleaned and get her claws clipped and have her in the house more often. This way each dog gets more attention.

The family that took her seemed very nice. And I have had people interested in taking her before, but I didn't feel comfortable with them, so I didn't let her go. Anyway, they had a female chocolate lab years ago named Betsy. She got cancer and died. They have recovered from that and were ready for another dog. They had gone all the way to the animal shelter in versailles, mo looking for another chocolate lab. All the ones they came across weren't as healthy as my Emmie. She fetches well, follows the ball (would make a great outfielder). He (the husband) even remarked at how gorgeous she is. AND yes, she is. Beautiful coloring, sweetheart. codependent dog, though. So, I have talked with them a couple times since she left and she is doing "Fabulous".

Other than that, it's fun to have Josie in the house but she is afraid of my cat, Maddy! WILL NOT come to me when I call her if Maddy is between us. I think she'll get over it.

Okay, well, back to the studying I wasn't doing anyway. . . . . . .

Little Little Spider

Collin was singing on the way to school this morning.  "The little little spider went up the water . . . came down the rain and washed the spider out."  It was very cute. 

We have had about 6 practices for Caleb's baseball team.  Went to pick up the shirts today and they were wrong AGAIN.  Decided to pick them up anyway.  The kids I gave them out to today were very happy to have them.  The game scheduled for today was cancelled because all of the rain that came down, and when it did, "The little little spider went up the water. . . . came down the rain and washed the spider out."

A Morning In The Life

I am so far behind in catching my friends up on everything.  SO, I decided to write what a morning in my life is like right now.  I was gonna write about a day, but (and I know this will surprise you) I don't have time for that.

Dogs Bark.  I ignore them.  Collin tries to snuggle me, but gets bored cuz he's done sleeping.  Alarm goes off at 7:15.  yeah, right.  SNOOZE.  Dogs barking.  alarm again.  Okay.  I'll get up.

I head straight to the kitchen to microwave their favorite frozen pancakes. Yes, I give them sugar for breakfast cuz usually they leave home and burn off their sugar with someone else.  PLUS, it's easy, and I CANNOT make pancakes to save my life, so I buy them frozen.  The kids prefer french toast sticks, now THAT'S sugar.  So, I feel like I am doing well to give them pancakes.

They come in packs of 3.  I cook (heat up) a batch for the first Collin, then Caleb, who generally comes down the stairs with crazy man hair and doesn't say a word.  Still asleep, he eats his pancakes and drinks his milk.  He asks for plate number two, sometimes plate number three.  My kids eat almost no dinner, but pig out at breakfast.  (Maybe it's the pancakes).  But at least they are eating something!

They turn on cartoons while I take a shower.  I intermittently do my hair and makeup while helping them get dressed (they don't care if things don't go together).  Let Josie out, cuz she is done eating and Emmie ate outside.  Fill up their water bucket.  Let Maddy the Kitty Catty out to do her "business".  

Phone rings, it's Lee.  Wandering the breakdowns or most recent info on some dire emergency.  Or what would seem to be one to him anyway.  Alarm goes off.  Oops.  Forgot to turn it off again.  Sometimes I have to give Caleb a asthma treatment in the morning.  He hates it cuz he can't hear his precious cartoons.  Ugh!

Raise the garage door, start the car.  Usually its cold or rainy here, so yes, I still warm up the car.  Pack Collin's lunch.  Maybe eat some breakfast.  Try to think of what I need to take with me.  Get the kids in the car after, "Where are your shoes?" at least twice.  

Collin must open his own car door and put himself in his seat.  Okay, so ten minutes later we roll out (very slowly, cuz I backed into Lee's truck about a month ago).  Course, he's already gone by then, but I'm still careful!!

Drive 4 city blocks to drop Caleb off at school.  Roll off when I see him disappear into the building after "Bye Baby, Love You, Have a Good Day" and a muffled "Love you too" in return.  Sometimes I have to roll down the window so Collin can see Caleb to waive goodbye to him.

Collin watches my turns, makes sure I am going the right way to get him to school.  Enlightens me on some deep and profound yet unintelligible truth as we drive.  Go down to Walnut and Tenth.  Park in the church parking lot at the "Reserved for Christian Church Only" Spot, cuz where else would we park.  

Get out, undo his seat belt, get his lunch and bag and lock the car.  Make him hold my hand into the building and let him run through the gym up the stairs.  Up and Up and Up 4 flights?  I think.  Then, we open the door and are greeted with warm smiles and hellos as everyone is bustling around cuz we are late!!  Put his lunch box and bag in his cubby.  Sometimes he willingly gives up his coat, sometimes I have to stop him to get it.  I undo the latch (dutch door) to let him in, he has already forgotten mommy is there.  Bid goodbye to the teacher after chatting for a few minutes.  She is always doing some fascinating thing with them.  What a wonderful thing is a good preschool teacher.  Heaven on earth is a preschool full of them.  Did I tell you they cried when I told them I have to put Collin in a different school?  OH that was so hard.  They knew it was coming, and I am not gonna pass up the chance to go to nursing school so Collin can go to this school from 9 to 1:30 but I love these ladies and I love this school and THEY LOVE HIM and I love that they love him.  Oh!  This sucks!  It's so HARD to trust your kids to someone.  It's even harder to separate them from TEACHERS they LOVE and who LOVE them.  

Anywho, off I go saying hello and goodbye to the door, and then out the door and down the stairs and stairs and stairs to the car to decide what to do first.  Usually I head back home to study.  All for now.  Hope that is interesting.  Miss y'all.

Me

Updates

I have finished all my lessons for Nutrition and all my quizzes for Pharmacology.  I am coaching Caleb's ball team.  

"Skinny Boarding"

Caleb called it "skinny boarding", but it's really skim boarding, and he and Daddy are very good at it.  Caleb has done it so much on these last two trips that he's wearing the finish off the bottom of his board.  Collin made a little friend while we were down there, (and Yes, it was a girl and her name was Abby).  

I shopped at the outlet mall which they said is the biggest in the nation.  Oh, and the Gulfarium had half off student admission and students who swim with the dolphins, so guess what I did!!

Easter

We were on vacation for Easter this year.  We went to Destin again to enjoy the beach.  The city collaborates with a local church to put on a massive Easter Egg Hunt.  AND it is all FREE!  25,000 eggs were set out, and there were 2 age groups.

They passed out "Meal Tickets" for each person.  It entitled you to a hot dog, a drink, and chips.  They had cotton candy and snow cones.  They had rock climbing walls (which you can see Caleb took advantage of, and they had 3 bounces houses.  They also gave away lots of free baskets and prizes.  

We had also gone to the Adventure Club Egg Hunt before we left town.  They had the best balloon man there that we have every seen!  They hunted eggs there, too. 

The Easter Bunny also made a stop at our condo while we were on vacation.  Although, Collin kept saying Daddy left the baskets out, we kept trying to convince him it was the Easter Bunny.  Man, we had a whole lot of egg hunts this year.  How was your Easter?  Did you lay out on the beach afterwards, too???